


"Teenage-boy" Smell.

by the_foxiest_box



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Bathtubs, Bubble Bath, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, grimdorks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_foxiest_box/pseuds/the_foxiest_box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"John, please go take a shower. You're positively filthy." You mosey over to the sink, snatching up the dish soap the first chance you get.</p><p>            "Can't. You ripped it out of the wall, remember?" John rinses the soap from his arms.</p><p>            Well, you do suppose that would be a problem. Suddenly you wish you had not been so hasty while rearranging his house. But there was still hope. If you recall correctly, there was another bath on the first floor. Not a shower, but a bath; it'll have to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Teenage-boy" Smell.

**Author's Note:**

> Well. I promised Rose giving John a bath, right? I have succeeded in doing so.
> 
> This is set in an alt. timeline in which Rose stays on LOWAS to give John a hand. :o

 

            "I'm back!" You hear the door open and close in the other room.

            You close your book, and stumble through the trashed sitting room, "Welcome back. It was surprisingly quiet to-" You arrive in the foyer only to find that John is covered in oil and dirt from head to toe. "John, what on earth happened to you?"

            He tugs out his breath shirt as if to admire the mess, "Oh yeah! I had a tough day." He laughs it off as if it's nothing, "Do you think the oil will come out if I use dish soap?"

            You raise an eyebrow, "Dish soap? You plan on using dish soap to clean yourself off? Wouldn't you rather have a bath or a shower?"

            He brushes past you, shaking the oil out of his hair, "Nah, I don't think I have time. We've gotta keep moving, Rose! Bathing should be a luxury, not a necessity!"

            If this boy really expects you to stay with him for the next week or two then he'd better be joking you. You rush back into the kitchen to find him pouring some old dish soap over his arms. You notice how pleased he looks with himself, but it won't stop you from forcing him into a bath if you have to.

            "John, please go take a shower. You're positively filthy." You mosey over to the sink, snatching up the dish soap the first chance you get.

            "Can't. You ripped it out of the wall, remember?" John rinses the soap from his arms.

            Well, you do suppose that would be a problem. Suddenly you wish you had not been so hasty while rearranging his house. But there was still hope. If you recall correctly, there was another bath on the first floor. Not a shower, but a bath; it'll have to do.

            "John, there's another bath on the first floor, am I correct?" You shut off the water to try an gain his attention.

            "Yeah, so?"

            "Well, go hop in that bath."

            "No way, baths are for kids!"

            "John." You try a death stare, but it doesn't appear to be working.

            John grumbles and folds his arms, "Rose, give me the dish soap."

            "No."

            "Just give me the-"

            "Not until you take a bath! Jesus, John you say baths are for kids, but you sure are acting like one."

            He stops smothering you for his soap. You're lucky he's not that tall yet, or he might have been able to grab it from you. It would appear you've finally reasoned with him.

            "Fiiiine..." He pouts, turning to exit the kitchen in a dejected manner.

            "Remember to wash behind your ears!" You coo jokingly after him.

            Your teasing earns you a stuck-out tongue from your "mature" colleague.

 

            "All dooone!" Your ears perk again as John strolls past your sitting spot on the couch in his underwear. Just another perk of living with a teenage boy...

            It's already apparent that he didn't even try, "John, did you even use soap?"

            His face is still dirt-worn, and you can see the shining layer of oil that still coats his lanky, fifteen-year-old body. Not to mention he smells pretty awful too. John just looks himself down, seemingly not disgusted by his current state of being.

            "What's wrong, this time? I did just what you told me!" He rolls his eyes and flops onto the sofa beside you.

            You wrinkle your nose in disgust, sitting up from the couch, "Yes, John, but bathing doesn't mean simply soaking in water. Besides, you smell awful."

            "Oh, my ass! How do I smell bad?" He raises his arms in defense.

            "You smell like crude oil." You pick him up off the couch and begin pushing him back down the hall, "And 'teenage-boy' for that matter."

            "Well, DUH. I kind of am a 'teenage-boy'!" John pushes back against you, growling the entire way down the hall.

            "And if you expect me to keep staying in the same house as you, then I expect you to maintain at least decent personal hygiene." You reach for the door to the bathroom.

            "How did I get into this..."

            The bath is still damp from his last attempt to bathe, but the soap is bone dry; confirming your suspicion that John hadn't even tried to use it. Was it really this hard to get a guy to take a bath? Were all guys this way about bathing? What a pain it must be to have a husband... New water is now pouring from the faucet, filling the bath once more.

            "I'm not getting in..." John folds his arms again, scowling at the water as if it were poison.

            "John, it's just a bath!" You're nearly through with trying to reason with him.

            "Yeah! And... _you're_ here!" You can see the tips of his ears redden, "I'm not gonna just take off my boxers and hop into the bath with you just sitting here watching me!"

            You can't help but to tease him a bit, "Mmm... That would be quite lovely, I bet."

            Now he's had it, "Just give me some privacy while I get in, at least!" He points dramatically at the back wall of the bathroom.

            And so you turn around respectively. You must admit, it was rather endearing how protective he was of himself. He was definitely getting a bit stronger from fighting imps, you'd noticed. Though he still has miles and miles to go before being considered "muscular". For now, he'd just stay a lanky teenage boy. You can hear shuffling and stumbling behind you. You wait for it to subside before turning around–

            ... to find that not only is he in the bath, but he's poured bubbles in as well.

            "Did you seriously need bubbles?" He turns his back to you as you shut off the water.

            "Yeah, so? I might as well make it entertaining..." He folds his arms bitterly, "Plus, I get more privacy."

            You grab a bottle of your own shampoo while he isn't watching, "John, we're friends. I really don't care about your butt."

            "Yeah! But you're a _girl-_ ACK!" He stops complaining the moment he feels the soap on his head, "What did you just put in my hair!?"

            "Shampoo, have you heard of it?" You sneer, trying to rub the suds in.

            "Very funny... And quit it would you? I can bathe myself! I'm not a baby!" John swats at your hands.

            "You had one chance to prove that to me!" A coy smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, "And boy, did you blow it."

            John sniffs the air, "Oh my god, Rose is that your shampoo!?"

            "Yes. You don't appear to have any." His stillness allows you to wash his hair a bit kore easily.

            "Rose!! Now I'm gonna smell like a girl!" His nose wrinkles in disgust of the lavender smell.

            "A teenage-girl." You correct teasingly.

            "I don't see how that's any better than 'teenage-boy'..." He scowls into the bubbles; quite a threatening look, "I'm _supposed_ to smell manly. Not all girly and... Roseish."

            "Are you implying that you dislike the way I smell?" You raise your eyebrows at him and stop scrubbing his hair.

            "No no! You smell great! I mean... It would be weird if I smelled like you, that's all." John gives a heaving sigh.

            "I see. It's far better than your 'manly musk' I must say." Your hand slinks over to your right to grab a small cleaning bucket that had been tossed aside. He doesn't seem to notice when you dump it into the water with him.

            "You're just totally enamored by my macho smell aren't y-" John seems quite proud until he is very rudely interrupted by the bucket of water you just poured over his head.

            He chokes and sputters, spitting out soapy water from his mouth. John hesitates, still in shock, before rubbing the suds out of his eyes. This helps you to notice that you washed his glasses right off his face.

            "A little warning would have been nice!" He turns his head to shout at you.

            "My bad. Would you like me to wash your back now, dearest?" You giggle at him mischievously.

            John just sticks his tongue out at you, "I can do it myself..." He searches around the water for his glasses before moving them out of the bath.

            He's being quite a grouch about this. Politely though, you back off to let him finish washing himself. To your surprise he does a pretty good job. Sure, he dropped the soap into the bath a few times; you never said he was _skilled_ at bathing. Perhaps he's only working hard since you're here. You'll admit your presence must be similar to the burden of having a mother. You haven't the slightest idea where you may have inherited that trait.

            "Okay, I'm done. Can I get out now?" John swings himself back around, still tucked tightly into the bubbles.

            You tap your chin jokingly, "Hmmm... I believe it is passable."

            "I'd say it's more than passable!" He seems to be admiring his soapy arms.

            "I thought you were upset about using a woman's toiletries?" You kneel back down before the bath, wondering if you should get him a towel.

            "I got over it!" He shrugs, "Because I knew I'd get to do _this!_ "

            He seizes your wrist and gives an unexpectedly strong pull. Too strong for your little light body. Down you go, wish a splash into the sudsy water. _God, is he ever a little shit._ You can't help but to curse him as your face plunges into the water. It stings your eyes and gets in your mouth, that little bastard. You sit up, gasping for air and rubbing your eyes out. You're already searching around for his body to give him a fierce blow to his cheek, but his body is no longer in the bath.

            You peel your hair away from your eyes so you can glance around the room. You open your eyes only to find John laughing his ass off at you. I would seem he took the free time while you weren't looking to get himself a towel. You spit out the soapy water in your mouth dejectedly. This was not over yet. Oh, John you have no idea what you started. You leer at him menacingly as he begins to catch his breath. Oh how you'd love to slap his cheeks silly right now. But you don't. You sit back and take a deep breath. You suppose you've lost.

            "Your turn!" John sings and dumps water over your head to get the leftover suds out.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And then they did the frickle frack.
> 
> SEQUEL!!!???.??
> 
> Probably not. :o


End file.
